Hi all, Karlee again.
The last few posts have all been Andrew’s, and I haven’t written anything about how our relationship is holding up under the strain of distance.
It’s been almost three months now since Andrew moved to El Paso. I was a wreck the first week he was gone.. I cried more tears than I care to admit. I was lucky enough, however, to be able to fly to El Paso last week and spend 8 wonderful days with him and his family.
Having this short week with him has really refreshed me. After those long eight weeks, our waiting had paid off. To be in his arms again gave me one of the best feelings I’ve ever felt. It made me feel strong again. Even though this week went by quickly, and I’m already back in Georgia, we’ve made plans to see each other again this summer. Our relationship is going to make it, despite the odds we have faced, and that we will no doubt face in the future. No matter what
So, you’re far away
Out of my reach
For how long?
No one can say
I wish you could understand me
but the distance is
tampering with our signals
Yes, I’m still here
And you are far away
Out of my reach
This adds to my list of troubles
Not going well. The closer we get to Andrew leaving, the harder it is for me to paint on a smile. Remember that cloud I was talking about? Well, it rained tonight. It’s so difficult for me to stay positive knowing that he will be gone soon. Tonight we watched a movie together in the theater- he didn’t like it. Then we got groceries together for the last time, making me sad. And on the way home we got in an argument- that was my fault. And I just broke down afterwards and cried. He’s leaving for El Paso in 6 days, and I’m trying so hard to enjoy the time we have together. I didn’t do so hot tonight. Sad panda will try again tomorrow.
In 7 days, Andrew will be leaving. He hasn’t been able to find a job here in our small little town, so- after some tears, and much deliberation- we decided that the best thing for him to do is move to El Paso to be with his family. The best thing. That’s tough for me to say, because it’s really only best for him. It’s miserable for me. When you see someone almost every day for a year and then they are suddenly gone… Well, let’s just say it’s not going to be easy. The past week I’ve feel like there is a big, dark cloud over my head. He keeps telling me that it will be okay, and I believe him, but I’m going to miss him a ton…. Keep me in your thoughts, send lots of positive energy this way ok? I’ll update you soon.
With love, K
Sometimes, the answer to this question isn’t what you want it to be. So, what do you do? You change it.
I work at a retail store, a Lane Bryant, to be specific. That’s a store for women between size 14 and size 28. The only women shopping at my store are plus size. Tonight, when I asked a lady if she needed any help finding clothes, she replied, “I just need something that fits. I’ve got from a size 8 to a size 18 in two years, and now nothing fits.” While helping her pick out clothes, she tells me that she is a teacher, and her students (and some faculty members) have been asking when her baby is due. Unfortunately, she isn’t having a baby. I helped her find some things that made her feel less self-conscious- and less pregnant. I couldn’t help getting a little personal with her. We are all aware that a slight change in a woman’s figure can have a huge affect on the way she feels about herself. Sometimes, the change is a negative one. I told her that it’s not about finding something that “fits”, it’s about making her look and feel great. Who she is now isn’t who she used to be, so she has two choices: get back into those size 8 jeans, or accept her new size 18 figure and make it look just as good.
So, who are you? If you aren’t who you want to be, you absolutely have the power to change that. No one else can make you lose weight, or get organized, or stop smoking. It’s up to you. If you don’t think you can change, then accept who you are. That customer at Lane Bryant tonight can’t help being a size 18, but I bet her husband still loves her the same. Her coworkers still have lunch with her in the break room. Her students still enjoy her class.
Who you are is a mindset, not a physical figure.
Just a couple of words of introduction. We are Andrew and Karlee. We’ve been dating for almost a year, and in that short amount of time I (Karlee) have learned more about perspective than I had learned in all the other years of my life- twenty, if we’re going to talk specifics.
This blog is just a place for Andrew and myself to chat about things we take interest in. Chances are, they will be contrary to the way you think, feel, or believe- we love getting into controversial topics; but, just try and keep an open mind and look at things from someone else’s perspective.
And don’t forget to comment! Get in on the action, so to speak.
Talk to you soon
Andrew and I saw this and loved it. Just trying to provide a different perspective.